“I’m not really in love with you. I’m in love with the idea of being in love with you.”
Tell me how confusing that is.
Actually, not at all.
Like, when you say you love that celebrity, maybe you don’t really love them, maybe you just love the things about them they put out for the world to see. Maybe you just love the things they want you to love. You think about one day falling in love with that person and you fantasise about that seemingly-impossible-to-happen-but-still-exquisite-life.
You know you’re not really in love with that person.
You’re just in love with the idea of being in love with them.
Hah, got you there.
Maybe this sentence is relatable. Maybe this resonates with so many people out there, who give themselves away, sell themselves short just because of the misconception that they’ve found their perfect someone.
Sometimes we might get attracted/infatuated with someone so much that we start imagining our life with them.
This is when it happens.
They’ve got everything—looks, popularity, money. And they also happen to be…unattainable, kinda. You’ve always looked at them from afar, and never really come close or tried talking to them. Because you are afraid they might reject you.
Insecurity.
That is the first sign that it isn’t healthy and would result in a toxic relationship if you ever went for it. It’s better to just accept that nothing will come out of it and move on. Because sooner or later into the relationship, we are going to realise that we were never really in love with them and it was kinda just an illusion.
And that would be messy. Walking away would be messy.
In fact, I don’t think love happens that easily. I don’t think you realise you’re in love that easily either. It might take you years of knowing someone to fall in love with them. And it might take you years to realise it.
I think it’s never love at first sight either. It’s just attraction at first sight unless you are willing to agree that love is all about physical looks and does not have anything to do with the heart or personality of the person.
The thing is, it’s okay to realise you never really loved somebody and then walk away. As long as you are not breaking any hearts.
It’s also okay to adore something from afar but change your mind when you come closer. When you come closer, you see the true face, you realise what it was all about from the beginning and sometimes it might so happen that you realise you were wrong in judging. You thought wrong. It was not exactly what you thought.
That person looked inviting from afar but it was a disgusting personality and you saw it only after they let you in. And then you came back out. It’s pretty simple. Sometimes you might get wrong, take them for something they weren’t, and not take them for what they actually were.
It’s okay to make those mistakes.
As it is truly said in this poem I wrote—
It’s okay to adore something from afar.
But change your mind when you come closer.
Like find the moon pretty when you’re in love,
And see the craters only when it’s over.
And it’s okay to like their smile, their laugh
And making up an imaginary future together
It’s okay to lose yourself in creating someone else
As long as you don’t remain lost forever.
Take care of this. And take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else.
