Ever wondered how to make everyone like you instantly so that you don’t have to worry about making friends (or enemies) ever again? Ever wanted to be such a good and trained communicator that people liked you at the first meet? Ever been envious of your idols and wondered how you could get their level of charm? Ever thought about—dun dun dun— changing your attitude?

What is Changing your Attitude?

I wanted someone to teach me how I could change my attitude. It was like I wanted to find a guidebook named How to Change your Attitude so that I could become this better person who knew how to handle every situation and who had more experience about life than just a teenager.

This was me rushing into things.

And this is me writing that guidebook so that someone else can make a good use of it. So the major question that arises above all is how can you actually change your attitude for the better, to deal with people and situations like a pro who knows what’s going on?

Changing your attitude equals developing yourself into a higher-knowledgeable and intelligent individual. It’s creating an aura around yourself that reeks of self-confidence and self-righteousness.

Below, I’ve presented 9 methods of how to make everyone like you, whether it is at your home, with friends or family, or in a workplace.

Let’s dive in now.

Changing the world requires changing yourself (alongside a few other things too). It equals changing your attitude.

But the fundamental change to be brought in is the change in our own attitude and behaviour and psychology. We’ve discussed before what a huge, monumental change in psychological behaviour and thinking is called: metanoia, learn from the Greeks.

So how do we bring about this metanoia? How do we bring this change up? How do you learn how to make everyone like you? Have you ever thought about, I don’t know, maybe, changing yourself? What do you mean by changing yourself? What is the real definition and method of changing your attitude, without beating around the bush anymore?

Do you mean changing your physical qualities or your mental thoughts? Do you want to change your surroundings, or your inner self? It all begins with deciding the subject.

Who do you want to change?

If the answer is yourself, then what do you want to change in yourself? Most of the time, it’s just people changing their attitudes; to become more self-confident, self-aware, self-determined. Or maybe to become more approachable, more likeable, more lovable (there’s a difference between the three).

Or maybe you want to change your attitude to preserve yourself, to build up protective shells, to become stronger and braver. Or maybe they just want an attitude of gratitude.

Regardless of how different the reasons are, we all, at some points of life, think about bringing a change in our attitudes. Everything in your life begins with you, your personal self, your personal-development.

Personal development, furthermore, begins with a change in your thinking.

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.1 Be Kind (to Strangers)

We all are kind to our loved ones. We all are very, very lenient towards the mistakes of those we love and like, because—the answer’s right there. Because.

We are eager to help out close friends and family in anything they need help with. Understandable.

Some people promise to go to the end of the world just for one single person. Lovely.

How about we start now to spread this kindness and compassion towards strangers too? Being kind to strangers, in its own, trivial and simple way, changes many of us. A smile passed in a Cafe or the corridor or simply just on the subway, can change someone’s day.

Hold the lift door open if you see someone coming. Perform simple, small, mindless and instinctive acts of kindness everyday, because it won’t hurt you.

Bringing a smile onto someone else’s face brightens your day too. You’ll see that others reciprocate you. Being kind to someone on a bad day, can encourage that person to be kind to someone else too. It’s a butterfly effect and butterflies do change the world, you know.

.2 Spread positivity and be optimistic.

You’re allowed to have bad days. Everyone does.

On those bad days, you’re allowed to complain and shake your fists at the sky (as the old people did). You’re allowed to say that this day sucks. And you’re most definitely, absolutely, welcome to say that the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe it is.

No strings attached, maybe you’re going through some hard time or something and maybe you’re fed up of it, because…it’s just hard.

But real strength is little measured with how much you accomplished or how tough you are, it’s measured with how, even in the face of adversity, you didn’t give up.

Losing hope is really easy, but just if you’re going through storms don’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine. Always being positive in every situation will make you tough,

And if you gotta be kind to strangers and kind to every person; you have to learn how to not let your mood rule or ruin your day.

You have to take control of what you feel and how you behave. So even when things look hard, and coming out of some mess feels impossible, you just need to remember that spreading happiness and positivity even when you’re feeling low is a great indicator of how mentally tough you are.

And the storm is always wary a little of the tough ones.

So if you want to find a way of positively changing your attitude and ultimately your personality, be the most optimistic and positive person you’ve ever met.

.3 Stop complaining in a crowd

You know what is actually worse than complaining and criticizing? Complaining and criticizing when you’re in a crowd.

When you’re among people, the most obvious way you can make them see you as unapproachable is by complaining about something, such that it creates a natural feeling of unattraction in their minds.

Besides, they haven’t got the time. No one’s got the time to hear you complain, so it’s better to just get over it ASAP. No one wants to listen to someone else complain about their lives.

They all want someone who can listen to them complaining, patiently. That brings us to our next point.

.4 Be a Good Listener

The world is full of people looking for good listeners, because surprisingly many of us have many things to say.

And we’re all looking for people we trust in front of whom we can open up our hearts. But the thing is, you get what you give.

You should treat others exactly how you want others to treat you. If someone opens up to you, lend an ear. If someone tells you a secret, take it to the grave.

Practising gratitude for all that we’ve got in life is a form of therapy, and boy, does it work.

It’s also its own form of manifestation where the universe listens to us being thankful for what we’ve got, and it aspires to give us more. If someone helps you, say thanks.

I have this morning and night ritual where I say these five sentences in my mind the moment I wake up:

1. I am the best.
2. I can do this.
3. Today is my day.
4. I am a winner.
5. God is always with me.

Before going to bed, I make it a point to thank God for everything that I’ve got. It brings positivity in life.

It works wonders.

A few kind words never fail to brighten someone’s day, if spoken to their faces. But more genuine and purer than those, I feel, are compliments given behind someone’s backs.

We don’t know if the good words will ever reach the person or not, but giving them out in the universe is like spreading good vibes that everyone lacks nowadays. Complimenting people behind their backs is a good and proven psychological trick to form quick relationships in workplaces and professional environment.

.7 Determine your values

One way of changing your attitude in a definitive manner, of levelling up your personality, is to determine your set of values and then acting on them.

Jay Shetty, in Think Like A Monk says:

Values make it easier for you to surround yourself with the right people, make tough career choices, use your time more wisely, and focus your attention where it matters.

Our values are defined by what we experience.

When we tune out the opinions, expectations and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves.

Values are basically what you think is right. It’s what defines your morals and the particular set of beliefs you take help of in everyday life while making decisions and doing things.

Ask yourself: is respect earned, or is it given? Is respect reciprocal? Do you respect the person or the position? What do you believe in?

I, honestly, believe that respect is earned. No doubts there. What are your answers to the above questions?

They’ll provide a clear path for your values to grow.

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.8 Don’t give up

Never give up.

Take the necessary actions, whatever you have to do, to get what you wanted, to achieve the goals you had set, to find success. Maybe this is just me speaking, but there’s nothing like a deadly combination of success and a humble attitude.

Put yourself first.

If someone is against you, you don’t need to start criticising yourself and being against yourself too just because you think it will protect you from the wrath of society.

Have self-esteem. Have confidence in yourself. If you are the best at something, know that you are the best at it.

It doesn’t mean forgetting your humbleness and becoming an arrogant person. It means respecting yourself and being kind to yourself.

So, these were the nine ways of changing your attitude for the better, to become that one person you’ve always looked up to, to come up as so many others’ role model and idol.

Changing your attitude is changing your personality. To make everyone like you is to change yourself to such an extent that people actually start looking up to you.

It is undergoing such a huge and emotional and exhausting change that at the end of it you’re a whole different person entirely because you’ve gone through so much. It’s life-changing, obviously, and thought-provoking.

Growth is painful. Healing isn’t linear. Change isn’t direct.

Any kind of change can be stressful if not handled carefully. If you want to become a different person, and leave your previous personality behind, you’ll have to start letting go for once. You’ll have to know when and how to hold on, and when to let go of the controls.

Changing the world is bigger than changing yourself or changing your attitude. I’m guessing you, like me, want to be a part of something bigger than yourself too. Start off by becoming a part of this blog series: My Formula for Changing the World.

Signing off now, and spelling #lifewithawhy.

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