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I need to write this post.

Seriously, I do need this.

Ever heard people say that if someone’s giving you some advice, then they’re probably just talking to themselves 10 years or so in the past? They’re just telling you what they wish someone had told them. This is the case.

I need to tell myself this.

So here’s the upending, essential, massively intimidating question that we all some time or the other have to ask ourselves: how to get your life back together after having lost your way?

I hope that if you needed to hear this, I can do you some good too.

Now, life is really hard. No, seriously, maybe you’re thinking that I’m being too pessimistic, I’m being too bothersome, too cynical in my attitude towards life. That’s not it. I personally think that life is actually hard until you get the hang of it.

Look at this, when we really start thinking objectively as we grow up, and we look at all the different things in the world, all the different people, concepts, ideas, all the expectations people have from us, all the responsibilities in the life of an average adult person, then we actually realise that it is all so overwhelming. Sometimes we aren’t even equipped to handle all of the pressure when we turn eighteen, because no one told us about this.

When we’re just kids, though, and all the elders look after us and make us feel safe and secure, it’s all too easy. We don’t have to think about which college we should go to, what are we going to do when we grow up, who are we going to spend our life with, how things are going to turn out and all those worldly worries. We just be kids and everything is so fine. I sometimes wish I could go back to that time, be twelve again, (even though I did not write as well then as I do now).

Do you ever wish you could be a kid again and watch the world with the same kind of new and naive eyes and be the same level of innocent and ignorant again and just…live freely for a while? Do you ever wish that and then realise with a start that it can’t happen?

And then do you too become a little downcast because…seriously…you wish things could be that easy again, that you could fall in love with life again?

Well, let me say that this has happened to me. I have lost my way in life, more than once, at a young age; and I don’t know, one way to look at it is that it has made me value myself and take care of myself more. Because, I realise that the past isn’t in my hands anymore but the present and the future is and I can still do things that will help you upgrade your life and make it peaceful rather than making it difficult to go through.

So here’s this, the inevitable truth: there are things in life that make us lose our way or feel uncertain sometimes. And the good thing is that, you can take steps to upgrade your life.

The Reasons You Might Be Feeling Lost

It is hard, to upgrade your life. To become better without losing something. Oftentimes—and I speak from personal experience—I’ve given things my all and suffered from burnout shortly after. My first burnout happened right after I published my first book. There came a time when I didn’t want to write anymore. I was like, Oh God, what do I do now? What will I do when I grow up? (I was just 16 at that time, lost and confused.)

What I mean to say is that there are many things in life that can make you lose your way. You can identify which one it is for you. Is it burnout? Burnout sucks, let me tell you. It sucks more if it’s happening to you (seems obvious).

Or is it anxiety or sadness that does it for you? Makes you feel all of a sudden that nothing’s working out anymore and you just want to…stop. I’ve had my share of those days, realizing that suddenly I can’t do anything right and my mind isn’t working the same way and I’m just so unhappy all the time. Hope that’s not the case with you. If it is, I hope you find the means to overcome this sadness and this feeling of hopelessness and I’m here to really help you fall in love with life all over again.

Are you feeling lost because a very big and sudden and unexpected change has happened in your life recently? I know they can make one feel like an outsider to their own life. Or is there some other reason that’s more personal to you that has made you realise that everything’s a mess and you need to learn how to get your life back together?

There are many things that can make you lose your way in life. Good thing is that there are many things that can make you come back to the right track too.

Whatever it is for you, I really hope that these few tips will help.

How to Get Your Life Back Together?

1. Upgrade your life by letting go of some things.

Forget the plan you had made in your mind regarding what your ideal life would be like 10 years later.

This is a detailed step, that’s why it is the first.

Now, I’ve actually seen this happen. My phone wallpaper, my tablet wallpaper, my Pinterest boards, Instagram feed, my books, my note-making apps, my manifesting diary, my Spotify library, every single fricking thing in my life is full of vision of what I want my ideal future to be.

While this is not necessarily a bad thing, and many people might say the opposite, that it’s nice to visualize to make a vision board and to remain always in that zone, I have a counter advice to offer.

Maybe this whole vision board thing works for you, but there’s this side effect of this thing which is, and this is not just my own psychology, having these vision boards and always looking at them and imagining you were living them, it actually dismisses the will in you to work for them.

I looked at all the photos and visions of being a successful bestselling author and I felt like I had already achieved it. There’s this quote, I think I’ve mentioned it way too many times already, but it says that you want it so bad that you ruin it before it’s actually here. Fantasizing, overthinking, imagining, worrying etc. I don’t know who said it, but that person was damn true.

I realised along the way that now I was living more in the fantasy than in the reality and I wasn’t actually doing enough to achieve the massive amount of success that I had achieved in my dreams and in my vision. I was just wringing it, hoping to come across luck.

So, if you feel too overwhelmed with life, with your future, with what you’re supposed to do, just take a moment aside and forget everything. Forget you wanted to have this amount of success, to have this amount of bank balance in your future. I’m not saying to not work for it, I’m actually saying to just work for it. Don’t think that much about it. Just put in your work and keep putting in the work and seeing in reality instead of just in your dreams.

We all always either think too much and work too little, or think too little and work too much. Do you relate?

2. If you’re losing motivation to do things, stop.

When I lost motivation to write, I stopped. I really just let it go. It’s okay.

A few days, or maybe a week later, I realised that I loved writing just too fricking much to stop it altogether. If you actually love this thing, you’ll come back. Take my word.

If you ever find yourself losing motivation to do the things you once loved doing, just stop. Step back and find out the reason. Why are you not loving your passion anymore? Did you make the play into work? Were you stressing too much? Are you tired? Do you even get enough sleep?

Do something else for some time. Expand, learn more things, learn things you didn’t even think of learning before. I can’t find the motivation to study sometimes, because seriously, who cares? You just need to be good in English, right, to be a writer? (Kidding, you need, like a dozen other things.) But now, I’m learning Japanese (and trust me, I’m loving it.)

Another great thing when you finally step back from the things that don’t make you happy anymore, is to start journaling. You’ll never regret it, trust me. Having a journal is like having a friend who doesn’t judge and won’t backstab and who’ll help you get your life back together. And I’m all in for a friend like that.

3. Delete social media.

Okay, wait, this should’ve been at the top of the list. If you are trying to get back your footing in life, looking for moving up without losing your way in whichever field you are, the first and foremost thing you should do is to just delete the damn social media apps. It’s so refreshing, trust me. You’ll feel relaxed and ignorant and amazing and nice again. And you’ll definitely fall in love with life. Why? Because you’ll have nothing to show to other people, no filtered days, no fake life.

If you’re actually trying to build your life into something, trying to do something great or epic, then you should only be using social media to promote yourself, to build your personal brand, or to learn something new. Seriously don’t use it to swipe through stupid reels that make you feel unsatisfied with your own life, that make you want to work but don’t actually prompt you to stand up and get to work. Don’t check what the other people in the whole world are doing.

The problem with all these cool networking apps if that you’re focusing too much on other people and their lives and their fitness routines and their breakfast photos and their travelling expeditions and you’re not focusing enough on yourself.

Have you ever gotten upset over something some stranger online has said to you? Seriously, I have too. But I shouldn’t have.

You get the gist.

4. Rethink your why.

I think this is a really generic point that everyone knows about, because it’s all everyone thinks about. And truthfully I want to mention it because it is actually important, and I think you need to hear this too.

What’s your why? Why are you doing this? Your reason for working so hard for anything. If we want to go overly philosophical, I’d say, why are you here on earth? What’s your reason to be born, for your mum to go through hard labor to bring you into this world? (Don’t take this seriously, please don’t get offended).

We all have some purpose for coming here, to make the world a better place, or to sometimes leave it worse off (this is for the murderers, criminals, perverts etc). What is your purpose? Before you decide that nothing in life is good, think about what all benefit you do to the earth, the society, to your family, friends, to yourself.

Were you on the right path before this, before you lost your way and everything started looking dull? If not, maybe it’d help to think you why again.

5. Take care of your sleep.

Seriously, 8 hours of sleep. Nothing more, nothing less. Over-sleep is not good for health either, as we all know. Eat healthy food that doesn’t harm your body, drink a lot of water, get regular checkups, just take care of yourself. If you’re losing your way, then maybe it’s the universe reminding you that above everything and everyone else comes you.

You should take care of yourself to upgrade your life and make sure that anything you do is not harming yourself unintentionally.

6. Stop all unhealthy dopamine sources.

I once heard this thing in some motivation video and it was, you’re unhappy because you’re too happy.

Like, wow.

That blew my mind. That’s so true. Because we’re constantly surrounded by immediate and instant sources of cheap, unhealthy dopamine, we’re too unhappy.

Imagine this, you’re feeling low or tired at your work and so you open up a social networking app to scroll through your home feed, liking your friends’ photographs along the way and it gives you relaxation because you feel like wow, I was unhappy but now I’m very happy because I don’t have to work. You come home, don’t want to do anything, just want to watch TV for some while and you binge a complete show the whole night. And wow, that was such a nice experience and I’m again very happy

What I get from this saying is that because we always get our needs and our wishes fulfilled we have now forgotten how to actually value them. So whenever we’re feeling uncomfortable or uneasy, (which are actually signs, or maybe opportunities for growth), we always let ourselves be happy and we give ourselves comfort in the form of our phone, TV, coffee and all other sources of dopamine.

So, long story short, we get this habit of living comfortably our whole lives and this desire for comfort never ends because suddenly we get tired of our previous sources of dopamine and want something else. Then something else. And more and more and more. It never ends.

Add to this the guilt of having wasted our time on phone or TV, doing things that though are attractive but are not so productive.

We’re unhappy again. Because we’ve been too happy.

7. Distance yourself from people you don’t want in your life anymore.

Just do it. I dare you.

I dare you to wake up tomorrow and be a changed person, be someone who doesn’t take someone else’s sh*t, who doesn’t let anyone walk over them, who isn’t afraid to speak up and stand up for themselves.

8. Romanticize Self-Love.

Seriously, you don’t need someone else to make you feel loved or valued. Of course you don’t. Just romanticize self-love. Check yourself out in the mirror if you want. Give yourself compliments. Just realise that you are amazing and beautiful and worthy and talented and smart and valued and lovable and so good-looking and kind and—yeah, the list goes on.

9. Set your goals for a new life.

Since we’re talking about all these reforms to bring in your life, it’s only fair to set new goals for a new era for a new life. Learning how to get your life back together necessitates the discussion that you can’t have any connection to the mess that your life was before this.

If you’ve found new motivation, new drives, new love, then maybe it’s time to set new goals that aren’t toxic, aren’t too far-flung and aren’t small either. Dreams that are just the right size.

10. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

Don’t.

11. Spend more time with the people you love.

Actually, now that I look at this, I think this one should’ve been the first.

Don’t put it off until tomorrow. Don’t hesitate or get too busy to spend quality time with the people you love. Time is more important than money, people like to say, and I’d like to agree, that if you’re spending your time onto someone you love and they know how to appreciate it, then it’s always going to be good for you. Healthy for you.

This is true, it’s healthy to stay with your loved ones. It’s healthy and underestimated, but sometimes all you ever need to get your life back together and fall in love with life again is to show your love to someone else.

12. Read simple stories.

This one’s really easy.

When my life looks like a mess or I’m just a little lost, then I actually just read the simplest and easiest book on my bookshelf. I’m not asking you to stop reading complex books, like, I’m not holding you back from that (though reading The Silmarillion while you’re trying to figure out your life won’t really be a good decision, I guess.)

Now, what do I mean by complex books?

We often want everything to fall into place. And while this is nice at any time of the year, it’s maybe not when you’re already struggling with a dozen other things.

I just want to say that we’re all too frequently indulging ourselves in thrilling situations and things, and we even like to read (if you’re the over-achieving bookworm) the best, thickest, drowning-in-vocbulary-kinda books and are too seldom looking to find out stories about the little simple incidences of life. I’m simply asking to lead this simple life by getting to know more about the simple stories.

Want recommendations? Read children’s books. Any. It’s nice.

13. You’re doing this for yourself. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it.

You’re changing your life because you want a better future, because you love and respect yourself to know you deserve the better future.

Don’t let anyone talk you out of this reform process. It may take time, it may be hard, it may be uncomfortable. Change is highly difficult to comprehend sometimes, and it makes us feel lost.

But guess what, you’re equipped. Start.

Conclusion

You’re one decision away from getting your life back together.

Hi, if you liked this post, just know that I had to pull time out of my busy stupid exam schedule to write this stuff. But anyway, anything for the readers 🙂

If you’ve got a query regarding getting your life back together, I’m happy to help. Sign up for our email list to get regular updates whenever we publish pieces of content for you. I hope you have a really nice week and I do hope that I helped you a little in getting your life back together on the track.

I sincerely hope you achieve all your dreams! Unless it’s to become, like, the richest, most famous, most successful, amazing author, then sorry, but that’s gonna be me.